


Adventures of Falcon and the Winter Soldier

by Clydesdale



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Bucky Barnes, Humor, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:08:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22144642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clydesdale/pseuds/Clydesdale
Summary: Being the one who used to keep Steve out of trouble Sam thought that Bucky was a fairly responsible guy. That maybe the guy would be easier to work with, maybe he wouldn’t be a trouble magnet. Oh how he was wrong.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	1. Airport Security

Being the one who used to keep Steve out of trouble Sam thought that Bucky was a fairly responsible guy. That maybe the guy would be easier to work with, maybe he wouldn’t be a trouble magnet. Oh how he was wrong. 

It started with a mission in Germany, there was evidence to suggest Hydra was planting roots again. The United Nations decided to assign Falcon and The Winter Soldier, they claimed Barnes was best suited to the job due to knowing the inner workings of the organisation but Sam couldn't help but think it was cruel to send a victim to gather Intel on their torturers. 

But that's how they ended up in airport security debating about Barnes' damn arm. Why couldn't they just take the quinjet? 

'Because you're going undercover, the Quinjets aren't exactly discreet', chimed in his head from his earlier conversation with the UN. 

It made sense but it doesn't mean he hated being stuck on a cramped plane with Barnes for hours any less. 

"Sir you need to remove your prosthetic, it’s tripping our systems and shutting them down", an unimpressed security agent said. He was picking his nails, looked incredibly bored. 

“I can’t”, Barnes replied.

“Why?”, the TSA agent crossed his arms.

“It’s my arm”

“Just take it off Sir”

“I _can’t! _”, Barnes was getting frustrated now, scowling at the metal detector like it had personally offended him. He reminded Sam of an angry kitten and the mental image made him snort.__

__"I can't let you through unless you take it off"_ _

__"I'm trying to tell you it’s attached to me!", Barnes exclaimed. Sam couldn't help but snicker, Barnes’s face was going so red._ _

__"Then detach it", the man replied flatly._ _

__At this point Sam was full blown wheezing. Barnes looked like he was about to combust._ _

__"I. Can't. I'm telling you, it's screwed into my collarbone!"_ _

__The TSA agent raised an eyebrow but relented with a sigh. "Fine, just go through", waving his hand dismissively._ _

__

__————_ _

__

__3 hours into the flight Barnes had started clenching and relaxing his fist over and over, watching the plates shift with a fascination Sam couldn’t understand. The whirring of the cogs and grinding of metal were giving him a headache._ _

__"Can you stop that", Sam grumbled._ _

__“What else do you want me to do? It’s not like I brought a crossword”, he snapped back. Now bending the fingers instead._ _

__“I dunno’ man, prepare for the mission or something, anything but that, or I might just jump out this plane without a parachute, Captain America style.” Now _that_ would be truly taking up the mantle._ _

__“And that’s supposed to convince me to stop _why_?”_ _

___He did not just-_. His surprise must have shown on his face because now Barnes was smirking. Sam just huffed and crossed his arms, calling on scowl #37._ _

__“Whatever, I’ll get ready for the mission if you want”, Barnes said. He turned and held down two buttons at his elbow and with a click the arm detached._ _

__“You’re joking”, Sam was slack-jawed._ _

__Barnes only grinned harder._ _

__“Why didn’t you just take it off at the metal detectors!”, he yelled but shrunk into his seat upon noticing the glances of other passengers._ _

__“Because then they would have found it”, he replies, lifting a tab inside the arm_ _

__“Found wha-”_ _

__He pulls out a- _Oh. My. God.__ _

__“Is that a _machete_?!”, Sam hissed. “You brought a _machete_ onto a _plane_!”, he was incredulous. “Put that away! They’re going to think we’re terrorists”._ _

__Barnes seemed unperturbed however, reattaching his arm and starting to sharpen the blade on the vibranium. “You should see the Karambits in my boots”, he muttered._ _

__“The _WHAT_ -”_ _

__Sam vowed to never compare this man to an angry kitten ever again. He was terrifying._ _


	2. Holmes

Finding the Hydra agents turned out to be surprisingly easy, it took them only 3 days. They were there for intel and intel only. They had clear orders. Do. Not. Engage.

If anyone asked him how they ended up on the other end of a Nazi's gun Sam would say he didn't know….. But he did.

15 minutes earlier Sam had gotten up to leave the position they'd taken to spy on a Hydra meeting but was yanked back by a metal hand. "Cmon let's go we've got to inform the UN" Sam said. 

"Do you really think I'm going to just report back like a perfect little soldier after watching Hydra kill yet another innocent person? God no", Barnes stated.

Really he was starting to think Barnes was just as bad as Steve. Honestly, defying the United Nations? Total Rogers move. He knew though that if Barnes was anything like Steve then Sam had no chance in stopping him. 

And you know the saying, if you can't stop 'em, join 'em. 

That's a stupid saying, proven by thie gun currently digging into his temple. Thanks to Barnes he is now held at gunpoint, in an abandoned apartment on the other side of the planet.

"How did you find me?", the Hydra agent demanded, ramming the gun further into Sam's temple. 

"I dunno man, who are you?", Sam lied. 

"Don't play games with me, who else knows?"

"Knows what?", pain streaked across his cheek as he was struck with the but of the gun. Yeah he had that coming. 

"If you don't answer my question you're getting a bullet in your head".

Before he could blink Barnes had slipped free from his cuffs and knocked the gun from the man's hand. Sam, blinking out of the shock knocked the guy's lights out. 

They bound the Nazi to a chair and watched as he slowly came to.

"Now what? How are we supposed to explain this?", Sam demanded.

The smirk on Barnes's face in reply made Sam's gut coil. Oh no.

——————

The councilman leaned into the microphone at the UN meeting. "And Mr. Barnes this… incident report claims you were… burgled?"

"Yes sir", Barnes replied with a much to innocent smile.

"And how Mr. Barnes did this theif manage to sustain injuries such as a-", he pulled out a new document, "fractured skull, 18 broken bones, concussion, internal bleeding, a punctured lung and 3 missing fingers".

"He fell out a window sir".

"And how did he fall out of a window?"

"Well sir I don't believe he expected to be caught, he must have had quite a fright".

"And how many times did he fall out of the window Mr. Barnes?".

"It was quite late, I was tired. It's all a bit of a blur, frankly I lost count".

"And this theif just happened to be not only tied to Hydra but also spilled all their secrets when you pulled him from the dumpster he landed in?"

"Correct sir, after I reminded him how much I loved gravity he was happy to oblige".

A sigh could be heard from the councilman. "Meeting adjourned, well done".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally referenced another TV show, I couldn't help it.

**Author's Note:**

> True story a relative of mine accidentally took a bag full of knives (it's part of their job) instead of their clothes bag to the airport and managed to go through 7 countries' airport security without getting picked up. BOTH WAYS. I lost faith in security after that lol.


End file.
